PLEASE do not read FLIP CITY Magazine if you are a moronic mongoloid. It will only either confuse or enrage you, which could lead to health problems or even acts of physical self-endangerment , for which the editors of FC do not wish to be considered liable.
We here consider FLIP CITY to be the literate person’s comics shitrag. So if your levels of literacy are marginal, if your cultural reference pool is so shallow you can’t relate to anything prior to the ascent of American Idol, please do not read this magazine.
Honestly, we don’t even know how it got into your mentally deficient hands. It simply wasn’t meant for you; now, heed this warning and put it down and walk away. Sure, at this point your panties may be twisted and you may be tempted to do something underhanded, like, oh, I don’t know, maybe DESTROY this hilarious issue of FLIP CITY or throw it in the garbage and rid the world of it? Even if the magazine wasn’t yours to begin with? Which is a pretty reasonable assumption because, why the hell would you buy it? You’re not a bright person. You don’t “enjoy the act of reading.” You’re not a “thinker”. You don’t know how to “weigh both sides of an issue”, and you’re not much interested in “free thought” or “free expression.” In short, THIS MAGAZINE HAS NO USE FOR YOU!!
JUST KNOW, if you mess with this copy of FLIP CITY, somebody will find out. If somebody doesn’t find out, then God will still know what you did. If that notion hurts your butt, then just consider that your act of theft and/or destruction will be entered into the Akashic Record with all the other nasty acts of your life which will be mocked and ridiculed by the Lords of Time and various unnamed ascendant masters. There’s no getting away from it karmically, SO JUST CHANGE YOUR LINE OF THINKING RIGHT NOW! Somebody obviously cared enough about this magazine to buy it, so don’t be “that guy”!